"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. - (Henry David Thoreau)
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Tuesday, October 01, 2013

I'm having a hard day.

I'm having a hard day. I'm letting the stress get to me. I'm crying a little bit. I'm overwhelmed. I know that I don't have it that hard. I know there are plenty of people who have it worse. But the things in my life affect me. And the people I love. And that hurts.

A lot has been going on lately. With moving, working more hours, returning to school, health issues, missing living with Kiiya, being in my first real relationship, figuring out how to be a grown up and live in the real world. All of these things. suck. No, like a lot.

I should probably be at school. If I'm not there, I should probably be cleaning. Or paying bills. Or figuring out what my next move is. Or making dinner. Or. Or. Or. Or....something.

But I'm not.

I just need to sit. And think. And calm my mind. And remind myself that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Helpless. And even a little but Hopeless. It's ok.

As long as you get back up again.

So I will. I'll sit for a few more minutes, or a hour, or a few hours. However long it takes me to come around and accept that things are the way they are. They are stressful. What they said was hurtful. How I feel is defeated. But i'll be ok. Everything will be ok. Really it will. And I know this. And this is what I'm sharing with you. Life sucks. Like a lot. But also it doesn't. Because even if it takes awhile, it does always work out. There will be the calm after the storm. And everything will be ok. I promise.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Lessons From a Little White Mouse

RIP Caprica <3
I learned some lessons today. Lessons from a little white mouse.

Life is Short. Keep it Simple. Don't make judgments based on appearances. Seriously. Don't.

I love mice. They have always been a pet I've wanted to have. So when I moved away from home, one of the first things I did when I had extra money was adopt some mice. She was my birthday mouse. A present to myself. I went to the store with a friend. We picked out three. A sleek black one with white speckles caught our eye. And an equally attractive brown "pinto" mouse. For the third we picked one of the plain white mice that the majority of the rest were. Bringing them home, I excitedly thought of names for the black and brown mice, oooing and ahhhing over their pretty patterns and colors. The little white mouse all but forgotten.

Go figure the little white mouse (whom I eventually dubed Caprica) would turn out to be the friendliest. She was the first to smell my hand. The first to let me hold her. And the first to greet me when I would walk in the room.  Now I loved all my mice. But there is something endearing about the pet that wants to be near you. That isn't afraid.

Caprica died not to long ago. But she taught me something. Something important. Now every time I see a little plain white mouse I remember. Not to let my eyes dictate who is worth knowing and who is not.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Love You Miss Kii

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Sketchy Day

 Human study sketches. Kyle. Time elapsed: 15min

Beginning Inara portrait. Time elapsed 30min

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

RE- l a x ing

Reminiscing on my peaceful day at the pool with my girls :) Kiiya deciding only the human chairs would do for her nap and Nari wiggling with happiness when she found a sunny spot by my feet to cuddle <3 They are so very different and so very perfect and I love them both so much!

And now time to pass out with miss Nar <3 She knows how to make me feel better after an icky day :3

night night! zZzZz

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